Conviction

…humbled…
Well, I was all prepared to write a post about how mean girls can be and how I don’t understand why some girls will spend so much time trying to destroy someone else’s life instead of trying to better their own – and then, Joyce Meyer’s happened.  Well, more accurately, God happened to speak to me through Joyce Meyer’s.  She is amazing by the way!  A total inspiration, I definitely wouldn’t mind being like her someday!
So last night I was studying and listening to her sermon on loving others.  This is a big one for me.  I preach it, I talk about it as my second goal in life, second to loving God, of course.  I stand on it as one of the two most important things to teach children and youth.  But last night I had a realization that while it is easy to say and preach there are definitely parts of my life where I am not living it out and need to change.
Loving others is a lifestyle, choices we make that come from our love for God and desire to obey and please Him.  This is one of those rules that is easy to say but sometimes hard to live out.  Ok, not just sometimes!
I found that I have, unfortunately, fallen into the habit of believing that if I am generally nice and have a friendly disposition then that counts as loving people.  I can even add in talking to those that look lonely or self-conscious or the occasional outcast and poof, I’m loving, time to check that off the list of things to do for today.
Ha.  Not so fast.
Thankfully, God is ever patient and has a sense of humor.  I believe He gets a chuckle out of me whenever I think I am on the right track but oh so wrongly missing something BIG.  How bout LOVING those that drive you crazy, Julz!  What about that girl who seems to always be out to get you, trying to make you look bad, undermining you and so good at cutting you with her condescending ways.  How bout loving HER!!
Ummmmmm….what?!
This is when I go through my own little tantrum comparable to any 3-year-old.  I don’t want to love her.  She’s so mean and she makes me cry and she is trying to destroy my reputation.  You said reputation was important, You said that You would take care of people who hurt Your kids, You said that You would work all this out for good.  Surely You don’t mean to work this out for good by teaching me to love my enemies…oh wait, I think that sounds familiar…dang it!  But God, can’t You just send Your wrath and destroy her or at least take her out of my life??
Ok, fine.  You’re right.  I hear you.  I’m sorry.  Thank You for teaching me and molding me and forgiving me for my many sins.  I will learn to love her, with Your help.  And trust that You will continue to take care of me and protect me even when I cannot protect myself by fighting back in my own petty ways.
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